A Happiness Hypothesis

“I just want you to be happy.” At first glance, a wishful statement, a hopeful idea. But is this a burdensome phrase, a phrase pregnant with confusion and obsession? I don’t think I understand what happiness means. Is happiness a simple idea? Is happiness an ultimate goal, or is happiness momentary?

So much empty language surrounds happiness: "Happiness is in the little things.” “Don’t worry, be happy.” But these phrases that permeate our lives are nothing but moot, hollow ideas, confusing and irritating—at least to me. I realize that the concept of happiness occupies a lot of time and space in my mind; thoughts about how to make my decisions. I know I am not the only one. To debunk the happiness hypothesis, I asked 13 people to give me their ideas on happiness.

What is happiness?

Is “happiness closing your eyes and not feeling heavy” or is “happiness accepting the cards that you are dealt with”? Does one include the other? In our discussions, two contrasting ideas arose. The first one describes happiness as a state, being free of negative emotions and stress, a peaceful moment. The second designates happiness as a purpose, a goal, or “something to strive for,” and “happiness as a goal and not something that necessarily exists.”

 Is happiness the absence of something else? 

What do you feel when you feel happy? Is happiness a feeling that can be described? What is happiness in its being? Is it a feeling? In the hardest attempt to delineate happiness, we all struggle. It’s already hard to describe a feeling; that being said, it is a feeling that is heavily discussed and rings in our ears from day one. We couldn’t conclude if happiness is the absence of something else. Some argued yes, happiness is peace, a mere absence of anything negative, mostly pertaining to imminent stress or anxiety. Others objected, claiming that happiness is its own thing, a feeling most closely related to something warm, “a sunny day,” “a conversation with a friend,” or even happiness is ontologically fragile and is solely construed as a goal.

Do you think some people are incapable of finding happiness?

Even though happiness is complex and misunderstood, all participants agreed that its subjectivity renders it accessible to all. Everybody agrees that happiness is so personal that it can be perceived in different ways and personalized to a maximum. However, what is the relation of happiness to external stimuli? Is happiness purely based on perception? Thinking of the sun, most people feel happy. So, do we have the power of perception over external stimuli, or is it solely dependent on our perception? Given the example of the sun as a predator in Camus’s “L’etranger,” we thought of the associations of things, their value, and the ideas we ascribe to them. The sun can be seen as a happiness indicator, an etch to spend the day outside, but according to most participants, the sun can turn into a predator depending on pre-existing emotions. If stress is preoccupying one’s mind, then the sun is an annoyance. One participant even mentioned that it depends on familiarity and comfort with external stimuli. The sun is as comforting and happy as you understand it to be. Rain in a rainy place is comforting, as it is understood as normality, associated with a blanket and a hot beverage.

Does happiness transcend time?

When you think about happy memories, do they remain happy? “Eating ice cream with my sister under the sun” will always be a happy memory in my mind. But is this pure happiness, or is it amalgamated with sadness, worry, and other negative emotions? I understand that happiness is not pure bliss, but how can you be sad and happy at the same time? I understand that it is not the same for everyone, and a happy moment that has passed for some remains happy and only reminisced in a positive light.  

What about nostalgia?

Nostalgia, denoted by homesickness (nostos, i.e., return to home, and algos, i.e., acute pain), is something we probably all experienced. So how can happiness transcend time if it's thinking about something that is lost and can never be relived? Some claim nostalgia is unrelated to happiness, rather its own concept, even if it can be bittersweet. One interpreted nostalgia through the lens of ‘Saudade, in Portuguese,’ described by sadness for missing but happiness for feeling, arguing that happiness transcends time and the longing for a moment, is followed by happiness for the existence of the moment in itself.

Nostalgia can be both happiness and unhappiness. Happiness can be tailored; happiness is experienced differently. In the end, as arduous as it is to find happiness on your own, it's the only way. There cannot be a collective happiness hypothesis. 

Thank you to all participants, this article would not be possible without you! Thanks to Ecesu, Nela, Aysenaz, Marly, Saskia, Louis, Lola, Chams, Juni, Tommi, Pedro, Greg, and Mahmoud.